I know whut it feels like to have that ache to share yer life with someone.. no big drama, just someone to sit with ya by the fishing hole, mebbe go to a race, watch football with on a lazy Sunday morning, go to church, and all.

I don't think people get changed because they settle into a relationship. Some folks do get into one unprepared or too early, and that can cause difficulties, yeah. Yer right in seein' that a LOT of gay guys are bed-hopping and running around giving it away easy, and if that's a temptation for ya right now, perhaps you'd be best off dating folks and just getting to know whut's out there. Not everyone's like that. Yeah, some of people are less .... conservative, to put it nicely.

I think one of the keys to a good relationship is to find someone who's got the same sorta values as you. That goes for gay OR straight folks. If yer lookin' for monogamy, it shure hurts to find yerself with someone who's constantly lookin' for better, or who wants to make comparisons or tell ya bout "the best sex I ever had," and he doesn't mean YOU.

I'm guessin' yer lonely. A lot of us are, and deal with it different ways. Some of us have learned that sex shouldn't be confused with love. If sex is what you're looking for, fine- just be smart, be safe, be careful, and don't ever, ever EVER let anyone try to persuade you into something you're not comfortable with. Cutting a date short and being embarrassed by it is much less painful than feeling used and humiliated the morning after. And as far as finding a pard, I think goin' slow is the smart way. The only thing worse than not having the relationship you want, is not wanting the one you have.

Wolf 10-17-99